There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Nobody wants to tell a truth which harms himself.

He looked along the line of children, exhibits A to C of his existence and heirs to the twisted throne of his corrupt genetics.

It is said that no one truly knows a nation until one has been inside its jails. A nation should not be judged by how it treats its highest citizens, but its lowest ones.

The Word of God is the universal and invisible Light, cognizable by the senses, that emits its blaze in the Sun, Moon, Planets, and other Stars.

Long after one has forgotten what a woman wore, the memory of her perfume lingers.

Something, or something awful or something wonderful was certain to happen on every day in this part of Africa.

I’ve been on a lot of shows that nobody cared about. This one’s fun because a lot more people are interested in the show, wanting to talk about the mystery and that kind of stuff.

Criticizing reporters is like boo-ing at the Special Olympics.

Through our great good fortune, in our youth our hearts were touched with fire. It was given to us to learn at the outset that life is a profound and passionate thing.

A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like this doughnut.