There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.

I wish I lived in your world, where it's sunshine and puppies all the time.

Geography is about maps But biography is about chaps.

If there is ever a time crying out for courageous leadership, its now.

To receive the grace of God you must go to the desert and stay awhile.

I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes.

Having a good director is very important. It's crucial. When you do good work with a certain director, you want to work with them again, and hopefully vice versa.

While the crash only took place six months ago, I am convinced we have passed the worst and with continued unity of effort we shall rapidly recover.

Stay put in the hard places, and you'll eventually rest upon the mountaintop.

Unless you're completely exploded, there's always something to be grateful for.