There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.

A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.

One of my girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern.

I was in a tailspin of confusion I hadn't experienced since the first time I heard George W. Bush speak.

If I had seen pictures of people eating each other on the wall, I would've told him I was into cannibalism.

I don't like to overdose. Call me old-fashioned.

I have a question. Is it okay to drink while you're pregnant...if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?

My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity I had stolen.

If It's not difficult to get, then it's not for you.

The mastery of nature is vainly believed to be an adequate substitute for self mastery.

The Greek word for sinning means to ‘miss the point;’ The point is eternal life which is here and now.

As soon as I got the Nobel Prize my back collapsed and I was in hospital.

Everything I have done, every change I have made to that circus, every impossible feat and astounding sight, I have done for her.

You must write for yourself, above all. That is your only hope of creating something beautiful.

PURPOSE is spirit seeking expression.

I don't care about money or fame or anything like that, but it would be a perk.

I've had more than a few battles with a Republican president. ... I am not immune [to] disagreeing with people who otherwise I support.

Don't sign your name between worlds, surmount the manifold of meanings, trust the tearstain, learn to live.