There are two things that won't last long in this world, and that's dogs chasing cars and pros putting for pars.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

If you want to save time, invest in a team.

Whenever I'm having a bad day and have an attitude, I stay home. I keep it at home.

I get whatever placidity I have from my father. But my mother taught me how to take it on the chin.

Mysticism requires the notion of the unknowable, which is revealed to some and withheld from others; this divides men into those who feel guilt and those who cash in on it.

My best chosen friend, companion, guide, to walk through life, Linked hand-in-hand, two equal, loving friends, true husband and true wife.

Chance fights ever on the side of the prudent.

Because of the love affair between the American public and the stock market, it is possible for entrepreneurs, technological visionaries and inventors of every sort to get financing.

I can't give up my own identity.

What do I look like? The Wizard of Oz? You need a brain? You need a heart? Go ahead, take mine. Take everything I have.

You didnt grow up in the shadow of John Steinbeck. He put you on his shoulders and gave you all the light you wanted.