There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option.

A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on too long.

You can either hold yourself up to the unrealistic standards of others, or ignore them and concentrate on being happy with yourself as you are.

That's what college is for - getting as many bad decisions as possible out of the way before you're forced into the real world. I keep a checklist of 'em on the wall in my room.

If only corporal punishment cured low self-esteem.

Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.

The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage.

The TV Tropes QC page is every single idiotic comment from my forums distilled into one HTML document.

The trick to writer's block is to sack up and write through it, you see.

Your whole life people tell you to do what you love. But if you gotta do something else to pay the bills, you don't automatically have to be miserable.

Spontaneous kindness is to hipsters as high beams are to deer.

Empathy is a hand thick with scars offering you a bandage.

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Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.

I have a bunch of albums I would love to get re-released.

I'm pleased that they performed as well as they did while we've been in Miami and that's about as far as it goes. Now, we've got to go home and play as well or better.

My parents raised me right, so I always open doors for people and try to have good manners.

Time is life itself, and life resides in the human heart.

I went into very deep research as to what exactly that meant and how sociopaths function psychologically and within the world.

If I don't eat soon, I'll die of hunger; and if I die, I won't eat soon.

Eaten bread is forgotten.