There are very few humorists who have written first-rate humor after they've become elderly.

That money talks, I'll not deny, I heard it once: It said, 'Goodbye'.

Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.

Beauty is only skin deep, and the world is full of thin skinned people.

Libraries: Here is where people, one frequently finds, lower their voices, and raise their minds.

The great improvement of the radio over the telephone is that it may be turned off without offending the speaker.

Retired is being tired twice, I've thought, first tired of working, then tired of not.

Shake and shake the catsup bottle none will come and then a lot'll.

If I ever make a hole in one, A thrill that I've never known, I won't be believed and I'll have no fun, For I'm sure to be playing alone.

Until Eve arrived, this was a man's world.

If you convinced me And I convinced you, Would there not still be Two points of view?

If I’m writing, at least I don’t feel as paralyzed.

There are no plans, just people fooling themselves by attempting to design their fates and futures. It makes them feel invincible, even if it’s for a transient period of time.

There's nothing good about diversity, other than the food, and we don't need 128 million Mexicans for the restaurants.

Don't let other people tell you what you want.

The roots of art and play lie very close together.

You can't be a good person when you're writing and a bad person to your husband or a bad friend.

Many people are afraid to talk about race because it's so emotionally loaded. We don't have the vocabulary to talk about it. Every day, our vocabulary seems more and more inadequate.

The biggest misconception people have about me is that I'm stupid.

There are not many Irish people playing tennis!

Character is a strange blending of flinty strength and pliable warmth.