There are way too many comedians now.

I've given my phone number to the weirdest people. I get texts from people all the time.

I'm at the stage in my life that real-estate apps turn me on.

I was supposed to be a professional rollerblader!

The show has to be good because you want to be good. But if it's not good, it doesn't matter.

I would have liked to be a comedian in the '20s, or maybe even a comedian on the Mayflower and have a statue somewhere.

There's nothing worse than a poorly staged house.

When you're filming something, you have marks and spots you have to be in.

I think a lot of comedians sometimes pretend to find the job more taxing than it is.

There is nothing worse than a sharp image of a fuzzy concept.

One of the things that Africa needs, everybody seems to agree, is some measure of debt relief.

I wait until an investment idea is so good, it hits me over the head like an anvil.

You know, like when you look in the mirror and the thing you see is not the thing as it really is.

You cannot reason a person out of something they were not reasoned into.

There is no greater crime than desire.

Perfect preparation doesn’t exist. Excellent adaptation does.

Everyone has the power to visualize.

The measure of charity may be taken from the want of desires. As desires diminish in the soul, charity increases in it; and when it no longer feels any desire, then it possesses perfect charity.

High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing......everything else is just figure skating.