There are worse things than being fat, and one of them is worrying about it all the time.

Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.

You don't get over hating to cook, any more than you get over having big feet.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

Life is so very simple when you have no facts to confuse you.

What most of us are after, when we have a picture taken, is a good natural-looking picture that doesn't resemble us.

It is important to remember that these are your Declining Years, in which you can jolly well decline to do what you don't feel like doing, unless not doing it would make you feel worse than doing it.

the most all-around, practical, long-wearing illusions are the ones that you weave yourself.

It's easier to find a traveling companion than to get rid of one.

As millions of women have done before me, I pulled domesticity over my head like a blanket and found I was still cold.

it isn't true, by the way, that nothing is as bad as you think it's going to be. Some things are exactly as bad as you thought they were going to be, and some things are worse.

Change is fearful, but at the end it is beautiful.

No matter how kind you are, always expect a few imbeciles.

Gone are the days when success depends on how you use your muscle tissues. In this 21st century, your brain cells must work more than your muscle tissues!

I know guys that are going to struggle. I know guys that don't play and 'bean' up. To me, that's becoming pretty reliant on something. It's going to have an effect. I don't think there's any doubt.

If you enroll as one of God's people, then heaven is your country and God your lawgiver.

Once upon a time . . . What time are we upon and where do I belong?

What attracts us in a woman rarely binds us to her.

Growing up in public is a test, and not many people know how to do it.

Mother of Aeneas, pleasure of men and gods. -Aeneadum genetrix, hominum divomque voluptas

The dance industry is flogging a dead house.