There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows.

I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things.

A man goes to the doctor for a check, and the doctor exams him and says I've got bad news, you've got cancer and alzheimers. The man goes Thank god I don't have cancer.

I was talking to Jesus, and I said, Jesus, I feel like no one will ever accept me. And Jesus looked at me and said, You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.

I just don't accept midgets as human beings. There's only so much political correctness I can accept.

I would show up at a party for Al Qaeda if you said there's going to be a dinner.

When you watch Robin Williams, you can see a lot of Jonathan Winters. Robin is the first one to admit that; he worshiped Jonathan Winters.

Every time I give a straight answer and read it in a magazine, I say, 'Ouch.' One day I'd like to talk to a psychoanalyst about why celebrities reveal so much of themselves in interviews.

Comedy historians take note: this Gottfried character doesn't have the best eye for detail - and, for a Jew, he doesn't have the best eye for retail, either.

If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.

I'm one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I'm watching.

A painter should begin every canvas with a wash of black, because all things in nature are dark except where exposed by the light.

Everyone has moments of weakness. But that doesn't make you weak.

He had come to find out that reality was more than a dream, much more than a dream!

We can discover the capacity of the mind to be aware, to love, to begin again

When your afraid of somethingyou hide behind a mask.It might be to protect yourself, But if you hide long enoughthen you forget who you really are.You must come out.

I love having my birthday at Australia Zoo.

I think a lot of young people have incredible ideas and incredible insights, but sometimes they wait before they go give their life to something. What I did was just to start a little earlier.

People always write on my Facebook that they've seen somebody they thought was me on the subway, and I was cursing badly.

Simplicity is the law of nature for men as well as for flowers.

Those who are Awake live in a state of constant amazement.