There have always been mixed emotions about Howard Cosell: Some people hate him like poison; and other people just hate him regular.

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

I've had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you're carrying a grudge, they're out dancing.

My wife said to me, "I want to be cremated." I said, "How about Tuesday?"

I found out that if you made people laugh, they like you. Most people got to like me because I made them laugh. When they didn't, I hit them.

I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the cart.

Don't carry a grudge. While you're carrying the grudge, the other guys's out there dancing.

Once when I was golfing in Georgia, I hooked the ball into the swamp. I went in after it and found an alligator wearing a shirt with a picture of a little golfer on it.

I have the gift of laughter. I can make people laugh at will. In good times and in bad. And that I don't question. It was a gift from God.

When I do an hour-and-a-half show, if I don't improvise 20 minutes worth of new material each night, I feel I've let myself down.

A comedian sees the world bent. I'm tangent to the circle.

If the desire to write is not accompanied by actual writing, then the desire must be not to write.

It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was.

I read On the Road in maybe 1959. It changed my life like it changed everyone else's.

Whether happiness may come or not, one should try and prepare one's self to do without it.

He turns to the painting. "I fear Mark was right." "Who is Mark?" "A silly little boy who runs after George Boleyn. I once heard him say I looked like a murderer." Gregory says, "Did you not know?

I aim here only at revealing myself, who will perhaps be different tomorrow, if I learn something new which changes me.

In America, we celebrate success. We don't apologize for success.

Death is just nature's way of making room for the less experienced.

My dear friend, clear your mind of can't.

Having nerves and feeling the pressure just gets you focused and gets your concentration level where it needs to be. I harness that nervous energy into a positive way.