There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

You can turn ANYTHING negativeinto the positive

Men are pigs, darling. I really have every sympathy for women that they actually have to choose one of these arrogant, stupid morons to settle down with and marry.

These days people are so mean that they even try to get rid of their shadows sometimes.

Surgeon General's warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.

In the affairs of this world, poverty alone is without envy.

The body is solid material wrapped around the breath

That's probably good, all things being equal, for emerging markets, not bad, even though it may not be great for all their currencies.

What impels every man to the utmost exertion in the service of his fellow man. Is, in the market not compulsion on the part of gendarmes, hangmen and penal courts, it is self interest.

Don't drink alone, Scarlett. People always find out and it ruins your reputation.

I can't stay in the box and wait for the ball. I can't - I would die.