There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

In a moment of sheer terror, I realized I couldn't feel my brain. It was there just a minute ago. Maybe I really was dead. "Do I look dead to you?

God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.

After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.”“You do have that effect on people.

Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way."It's three thirty in the morning.""Okay. Want coffee?

You totally need to watch the news.""Can't.""Why?""It's too depressing.""Right, because hanging with dead people isn't.

There are very few personal problems that can't be solved with a suitable application of high explosives.

Have you slept yet?''Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.''Didn't you drive there?''Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.'- Charley & Cookie

Always our wars have been our confessions of weakness

The blind can see love, the deaf can hear love, the mute can express love, and the disabled can carry love.

For last year's words belong to last year's language And next year's words await another voice.

I wish I had a hundred years, " she said, very quietly. "A hundred years I could give to you.

I'd tell you nice try, but... it wasn't.

I was a weekend drinker...I'd start on Saturday, end on Friday...thought I was controlling it...but I don't drink any more.

The record industry is a world within itself.

Some books accrete things to themselves like a magnet. The writer risks sterility by subjecting the mysterious power of imagination to the devices of mere comprehension.

The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others.

Eventually, there will not be enough prisons if there are not enough good homes.