There is a kind of happiness and wonder that makes you serious. It is too good to waste on jokes.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

One thing you cannot avoid ever in life, and that is time.

Every one of a hundred thousand cities around the world had its own special sunset and it was worth going there, just once, if only to see the sun go down.

The first part of madness is believing what you hear. The Second is acting on it.

Please accept this humble fax. My love for you is without wax.

I do not mean to suggest for a moment that all it takes to be a top executive is a custom-tailored European suit. You also need the correct shirt and tie.

One reason why people are unable to understand great Christian classics is that they are trying to understand without any intention of obeying them.

We are not sure we are right until we have made the best case possible for those who are wrong.

When the whole world doesn't believe in God, it'll be a great place.

When an artist leaves his work to amuse people, he loses his time and their respect. If people are to be amused by artists, it must be by employing them in their legitimate occupation.

Most of the fans of John Lennon and maybe John and Yoko are younger than me.