There is a lot of rubbish written about toilet humour - people saying it is childish and pretending it is beneath them - but there is no doubting the effectiveness of a really good willy gag.

I'm waiting for the time when I fail - because we all fail - and I'm ready, I'll take up carpentry.

We had so much fun in Ghana and they are really lovely people.

Performers like Tommy Cooper, who are always getting things wrong, are much more endearing than comedians who are sassy and smart.

We only have one agenda, which is to make 'em laugh their pants off. Unless they are girls, of course, when it is to make them laugh their bras off so we can get a quick look.

You're entering dangerous land when you start theorising about comedy.

I remember once having to stop performing when I thought an elderly man a few rows back from the front was actually going to die because he was laughing so hard.

From the stage I've seen people of all ages absolutely roaring at really good toilet humour.

Most modern comedy is crap.

We love the things we love for what they are.

Life is nasty, brutish, and short. Death is easy.

In America you're conditioned to regard everything as a contest. You have to make the Ten Best Dressed List, win this, win that. It drives me nuts sometimes. Who cares, for Christ's sake?

What interests me is being alive and being with friends that I care about and being as creative as I can given circumstance.

I want pictorial content without sentiment, but I want it as human as possible

Unless you really stand for something, people aren't motivated to go out and vote for you.

Everyone has a vocation by which he earns his living, but he also has a vocation in an older sense of the word-the vocation to use his powers and live his life well.

Sisters in Crime now has more than 4,000 members worldwide.

I saw a star slide down the sky Blinding the north as it went by Too buring and too quick to hold Too lovely to be bought or sold Good only to make wishes on And then forever to be gone

You can't build your life around hurts from the past" -Tyler Perry The Family That Preys