There is a penalty for trying to knock down a cockpit door, but it's the people who try to go from coach to 1st class they really beat up.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

Truth is immortal

I did not need him to survive. He inspired me to find that strength in myself.

Sometimes you can get more answers by not asking any questions.

I kind of like that thing of you being caught up. You think you can judge someone, and before you know it, you've been swayed by them, and actually you want more of them.

The poetic image is a sudden salience on the surface of the psyche

I don't want to be rude to the afflicted but Uncle Eddie is bald in a way which is the baldest I have ever seen.

Education is anything that we do for the purpose of taking advantage of the experience of some one else.

Accuracy and clarity of statement are mutually exclusive.

More than whether you live or die, it's how you are living or dying that is important.

Courage is ignoring your fear.