There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

...you can pretend that bad things will never happen. But life's a lot easier if you realize and admit that sometimes they do.

You can't see the light without darkness, take a look at the dark side of another point of view, you will find the meaning of darkness are essentially

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Only a man who has his health, a full stomach and wears clean clothes would ever entertain the notion of tracking down the greatest lost city on Earth.

Lost rights are never regained by appeals to the conscience of the usurpers, but by relentless struggle....goa ts are used for sacrificial offerings and not lions.

Love with delight discourses in my mindUpon my lady's admirable gifts...Beyond the range of human intellect.

It is plain to me that our prelates in granting indulgences do commonly blaspheme the wisdom of God.

Barack Obama is many things; among them, he is a tough and even ferocious political warrior.

Gambling is the great leveller. All men are equal- at cards.

In this country we find it pays to shoot an admiral from time to time to encourage the others.