There is an old motto that runs, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." This is nonsense. It ought to read, "If at first you don't succeed, quit, quit at once."

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything

Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.

It may be those who do most, dream most.

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.

Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.

Self-rejection is the biggest sin that you commit

Pride is the luxury of the strong".

I'd rather have a life of chaos beside you than a life of quietude and stability without you...

Out of the strain of the doing Into the peace of the done.

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad.

The essence of drawing is the line exploring space.

Not everyone will understand your journey. That's okay. You're here to live your life, not to make everyone understand.

Love is the most dangerous thing in the world.

Authentic marketing is not the art of selling what you make but knowing what to make!

I am learning, as I make my way through my first continent, that it is remarkably easy to do things, and much more frightening to contemplate them.