There is freedom of speech in Iran, but there's no freedom after you've spoken.

You are a miracle, you are a light. You are not made of our weaknesses but of your strengths. You are a masterpiece made by The Master. Don't see yourself less!

To spend our days betting on three-legged horses with beautiful names

There is no polite way to suggest to someone that they have devoted their life to a folly.

If thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought. A bad usage can spread by tradition and imitation even among people who should and do know better.

Term limits would cure both senility and seniority- both terrible legislative diseases.

Look for the best in everybody

And as long as people want to hear me sing, I don't know why I'd retire.

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

The danger is to stupidly believe that depicting facts gives us much insight. If facts were the only thing that counted, the telephone directory would be the book of books.

Make your money on the buy, not the sell; this is true in any investment whether it's real estate, business, or the stock market