There is hardly any man so strict as not to vary a little from truth when he is to make an excuse.

No man is so much a fool as not to have wit enough sometimes to be a knave; nor any so cunning a knave as not to have the weakness sometimes to play the fool.

Some men's memory is like a box where a man should mingle his jewels with his old shoes.

Most men make little use of their speech than to give evidence against their own understanding.

Men seldom understand any laws but those they feel.

There is reason to think the most celebrated philosophers would have been bunglers at business; but the reason is because they despised it.

Could we know what men are most apt to remember, we might know what they are most apt to do.

Weak men are the worse for the good sense they read in books because it furnisheth them only with more matter to mistake.

Men in business are in as much danger from those at work under them as from those that work against them.

He who thinks his place below him, will certainly be below his place.

The best Qualification of a Prophet is to have a good Memory.

It is not so much that I have confidence in scientists being right, but that I have so much in nonscientists being wrong.

Comfort is very important to me. I think people live better in big houses and in big clothes.

We're just recycled history machines, cavemen in faded blue jeans.

Is that growing old? Or is it something worse?

I think music is a selfish masturbatory event - for the listener, the maker, the candlestick...maker.

She stared at me with concern a few moments longer and then relaxed a little. "Okay. But if you need anything—" "I know, I know. Call on the Love Phone.

For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson.

Some of them wanted to sell me snake oil and I'm not necessarily going to dismiss all of these, as I have never found a rusty snake.

You will be surprised but I do a lot of studying and I watch National Geographic.

I entertain for a living and I role-play for a living and I can’t help but continue to do it.