There is, in fact, nothing about religious opinions that entitles them to any more respect than other opinions get. On the contrary, they tend to be noticeably silly.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

If you love someone, you must be prepared to set them free.

The joy you feel when you become a small life particle sun and share its brightness and warmth with those around you is indescribably great.

The real secret of how to use time is to pack it as you would a portmanteau filling up the small spaces with small things.

Fly the pleasure that bites tomorrow.

The road may bend out of sight at times, but I know what lies ahead: the faraway horses.

The good thing about directing yourself is that you get over yourself.

I felt, if I never did anything in my life but read scripts and synopsize them, I would be happy.

The best fashion accessory is a book.

There is no surer method of economizing and saving money than in the reduction of the number of officials.