There is never hesitation about doing stand-up. It's just me doing my thing.

You would not believe how much time people waste in a day. And how little time they put into things they genuinely love.

If 'Airplane!' comes on, it's like a comfort film. You can always guarantee a laugh watching that movie.

Sometimes I play guitar like a frustrated drummer.

'Jerry Springer' is just kind of the chubby, redneck version of throwing Christians to the lions.

If you take anything I say with any seriousness whatsoever, go study Yang style tai chi. It will make you live longer.

Truth be told, ginormous portions have become a pet peeve of mine.

I'm a futurist. Technology is our way out of almost every problem we have. Technology can create a new sense of community.

It's better to waste money than time. You can always get more money.

I noticed a lot of guitar players neglected the rhythm part of rhythm guitar and decided I would try to focus in that.

I'm a writer, so I like dissecting things.

If folks don't like the way you look, they almost never take the time to find anything out about you. They just make up their own stories

The Internet is for lonely people. People should live.

I don't want to do architecture that's dry and dull.

Our society is blind. We have lost our ability to be affected by imagery.

I never understood whether the word 'amnesty' is correct or not. Maybe I am not very intelligent but I checked the dictionary to find the meaning.

I don't mind not being cool; I wear a cardigan.

I wouldn't say I was sexy! But I guess that's fine if that's what they say. I like that in concert. That's neat.

Jealousy sees things always with magnifying glasses which make little things large, of dwarfs giants, of suspicions truths.

I used my pants to illustrate.

It is always a tense moment for an author to see how someone hasillustrated his or her story, because the author has lived for so long with these characters, sometimes for years.