There is no I in Team, unless you count the vertical part of the T.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

A very single fact could emerge into many versions of truth, depends on the number of eyewitnesses and interpretations.

Meditation is not a religion but a scientific way to enhance the concentration power of the mind.

Any use of the names of Eric Garner and Michael Brown, in connection with any violence or killing of police, is reprehensible and against the pursuit of justice in both cases.

I'm not an industry artist - I'm an artist in the industry.

As a director/writer/producer, all you ever want is to work with actors who make you look better, who make the work you do seem as good as it can be and even better than it is.

Building businesses takes tremendous stamina, and success isn't achieved without it.

A lot of first-time filmmakers are almost apologizing for their movie by saying, Well, we only had 18 days to shoot, you know.

One of the problems with being relatively conscious and human, is that you want to help everybody.

What am I grateful for? Aside from my own great life, you mean? I'm just grateful that my wife, and daughter, and dogs are all healthy.

I'm very tough on myself. I definitely look at the negative too much.