There is no answer to the Pythagorean theorem. Well, there is an answer, but by the time you figure it out, I got 40 points, 10 rebounds and then we're planning for the parade.

The Big Cactus... because if you come too close, you're gonna get stuck.

I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA.

They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning.

The stats win nothing. I'm still sexy. I'm still great.

You know, I'm very photogenic.

No one calls me out, I'm from LSU.

I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere, either Miami or Orlando, I don't know yet.

I'm not going to try to go out there and outdo him. I don't have to try to outdo him, I'm Shaq.

This summer is going to be a different summer for a lot of people. Everyone is going to take care of their own business and everyone is going to do what's best for them, including me.

I'm going back to the old Shaq. I was normal last year - I was an earthling last summer. I had to go back to my alien roots.

Here in your heart, deep in your soul, resides the universe’s collective wisdom, waiting for expression through your life’s experience.

I only have secrets that keep you safe, Darlin

Life often is a bucket of water sitting on a farmer’s porch. Our choice is in the drinking.

Patriotism consists not in waving the flag, but in striving that our country shall be righteous as well as strong.

We must do everything to ensure they [the Palestinians] never do return. The old will die and the young will forget,

I am not a born writer, but I was born a writer.

I mean, if you need a minute to yourself, you aren't going to get it, but you just have to realize it's what you signed up for, because those difficult moments are what make for a much better show.

In other words, my pot doesn't work?" "It doesn't have a pulse," he says. "I have a pulse." Kimmie offers her wrist. "Wanna check?

I don't keep up with it all. But Taylor Swift writes songs about everybody she goes out with, right? What a way to build a career.

To be once in doubt Is once to be resolved.