There is no doubt that being human is incredibly difficult and cannot be mastered in one lifetime.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

A good painting to me has always been like a friend. It keeps me company, comforts and inspires.

I work really well under pressure but I really hate doing things on a timeframe.

We didn't have MTV, and I was desperate for something. You know, you're young, you want something off the beaten path. And Twin Peaks was like, surrealism on network TV.

I felt like an impostor, taking all that money for reciting ten or twelve lines of nonsense a day.

I feel as if I'm always on the verge of waking up.

Being able to support oneself allows one to choose a marriage out of love and not just economic dependence. It also allows one to risk that marriage.

Sensuality without love is a sin; love without sensuality is worse than a sin.

Girlfriends' code. What's discussed with girlfriends stays with girlfriends.

The essential question is not, "How busy are you?" but "What are you busy at?"

I consider what I write to be literature. I choose the words carefully.