There is no food closer to my heart than cheese. In fact, according to my doctor, it has nearly filled my aorta.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.

It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.

This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty - unless she's on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp.

Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.

What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!

As important as color is to a painting, or wings to a bird. Music injects vibrancy to film and makes it soar!

Broken people are beautiful. They have to put themselves back together every day.

One of the most important skills we can develop for collapse is thecapacity to listen.

All nature wears one universal grin.

The government will support you to the utmost of its ability, which is neither more nor less than it has done and will do for allcommanders.

People see my face, they hear my voice, and I know they're thinking about my father. That's OK - he was a great man.

I thought everybody got into rock 'n' roll because they didn't want to follow instructions.

But I it doesn't matter who scores the goals so long as we win.

Language is filled with words for deprivation images so familiar it is hard to crack language open into that other country the country of being.

It is always sound business to take any obtainable net gain, at any cost, and at any risk to the rest of the community.