There is no romance without some lying. That's what romance is - a little bit of Vaseline on the camera lens of life.

You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.

The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.

In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.

Today, I bought a pastrami sandwich: $13.75. Walked back out in the street - genuine Rolex watch: six bucks.

Fifty per cent of all marriages end in divorce. But look at the bright side: the other 50 per cent end in death.

Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.

The way I see life, it's like we're all flying on the Hindenburg, why fight over the window seats?

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.

Success is like toilet paper, it only seems important when you don't have it.

Say whatever you want. But the United States has a kickass military and really good bullshit marketing people. If this country was a person it would be a used car salesman with a flamethrower.

I’d tell you what happened, but I can’t remember all of it. And I don't wanna put words in my dreams thoughts.

Working conditions at the computer and long seated sessions can lead to weakness and pronounced posture problems.

Back on the block they probably call Big Al "Fat Albert" but here in the Nam we don't insult our friends.

I am deaf to the word 'no'.

Get into a line that you will find to be a deep personal interest, something you really enjoy spending twelve to fifteen hours a day working at, and the rest of the time thinking about.

When one door closes, fortune will usually open another.

At this auspicious period, the United States came into existence as a Nation; and if their Citizens should not be completely free and happy, the fault will be entirely their own.

Lovers have an ineffable instinct which detects the presence of rivals.

I never got away from the war. Not because I was obsessed with it in those years, but because it was the event of my generation and I started out covering it so I stayed with it.

Faults are beauties in a lovers eye.