There is no scarier chasm of darkness than the human mind.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

I CAN and I WILL.

The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in itsvalue.

Anyone who thinks my story is anywhere near over is sadly mistaken.

We nothing know, but what is marvellous; Yet what is marvellous, we can't believe.

I have a nice family and I'm well rounded.

We need to return to the cosmopolitanism of Alexandria of yore, and marry that with the tolerance and democracy of Europe today

Many species of wit are quite mechanical; these are the favorites of witlings, whose fame in words scarce outlives the remembrance of their funeral ceremonies.

I have learned to pare down what I do and still be effective and strong in a role.

The reason 'The Carol Burnett Show' did so well in the ratings is because people were looking for that comfort zone when the whole family sat around and watched television and enjoyed it.