There is no story unless you've written it.

The downward spiral of Dumbness in America is about to hit a new low.

Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

I learned a long time ago that reality was much weirder than anyone's imagination.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that claim a God and the only thing that behaves like it hasn't got one.

Sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whisky and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested.

America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.

So we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?

Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing.

Hope rises and dreams flicker and die. Love plans for tomorrow and loneliness thinks of yesterday. Life is beautiful and living is pain.

There is enough dough in the world to make bread for us all to eat together.

Blame is a human concept, one of its blackest and most selfish and self-binding.

She's always there for me when I need her She's my best friend she's just my everything.

Tracy Morgan apologizes for his homophobic rant, still no apologies for the sketch about the guy living under the street.

Remind me," he paused, drawing in a stuttered gasp, "to never piss you off again. Christ, are you secretly a ninja?

It's hard to get justice in the real world. It's possible in fiction.

The softminded person always wants to freeze the moment and hold life in the gripping yoke of sameness.

It's amazing, the look in your eyes, like you could save me, but you won't even try

In these anxious times many of us are less astonished that reason is ever suspended than that it should ever prevail, even during the briefest of intervals.

Sometimes, what is right for you at the beginning of your life is not the right thing for you at the end of your life.