There is no such thing as a self-cleaning oven.

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

Never trust a woman whose father calls her 'Princess'. Chances are she believes it.

A $20 haircut hardly ever lasts longer than a $5 haircut.

Seek but provision of bread and wine, fools to flatter, and clothing fine; and nothing of God shall ever be thine.

The chief beneficiary of life insurance policies for young, single people is the life insurance agent.

There is nothing personal about a personal ad.

They aren't kidding when they say, "Wash Whites separately.

Always take an extra quarter to the laundry room.

Hurry up and learn patience.

If you have to learn it from a self-help book, you may be beyond help.

If self-employment is the opposite of employed-by-other, than a job is outsourcing your freedom (time and talent) to a boss.

In the songs I can still be really really direct but in interviews when I'm explaining my songs I shouldn't be so direct about who they're about.

I live my life in faith as I explore and challenge myself and others.

Intuition is more important to discovery than logic.

Arsene Wenger has got to unlock the purse strings

There have been times when I have deliberately tried to take my life... I think I must have been crying for some attention.

You don't have to be educated to be a president.

It is with obedience to your call that I take up the burden of government leadership for the final time.

Because Man is God, and God is Man, the world is nothing but the world of Man - or Woman.

All the bloomy flush of life is fled.