There is no such thing as a natural golfer but you become one by hitting thousands of balls

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

When no one is looking, I swallow deserts and cloudsand chew on mountainsknowing they are sweet bones!When no one is lookingand I want to kiss God, I just lift my own hand to my mouth.

I’m always thinking about creating. My future starts when I wake up in the morning and see the light.

As it turns out, American-made technology had helped Mubarak and his security state collect, compile, and parse vast amounts of data about everyday citizens.

The Olympic Games belong to the athletes and not to the politicians.

Security without liberty is called prison.

I don't flatter myself - I'm not a scientist, I'm not a conservation expert.

You don’t have to beg God; you just have to act upon His Word.

Modern, not bottom-dwelling literature like a carp.

I think you'll just have to wait for that Loser of the Month tiara a little while longer while I wear it, with pride, around my neighborhood.

Information is seldom enough to heal a wounded heart.