"There is no such thing as a good influence, Mr. Gray. All influence is immoral — immoral from the scientific point of view." "Why?" "Because to influence a person is to give him one's own soul."

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Always forgive your enemies nothing annoys them so much.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

Everyone may not be good, but there's always something good in everyone. Never judge anyone shortly because every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

Be yourself; everyone else is taken.

Women are made to be loved, not understood.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

To say that life is meaningless is to express an attitude, not to state a fact

He sees me when I'm lying. He hears me when I flirt.

And so, now, it is almost midnight of the first day, and I have broken my resolution to go to bedearly - postponing sleep, and thereby the inevitable waking up in tomorrow. Another device of escape.

Beauty is when you can appreciate yourself. When you love yourself, that's when you're most beautiful.

This is all you have. This is not a dry run. This is your life. If you want to fritter it away with your fears, then you will fritter it away, but you won't get it back later.

Jody Hill, who I created 'Eastbound And Down' and 'Fist Foot Way' with, was my best man at my wedding.

Burning is no answer.

You know, its really strange now with the Internet, with everyone having an unsolicited, anonymous opinion.

This is my moment, this is my chance to make a difference, and you know, I just went for the ball, I attacked it, and I went and got it, ... I was gonna catch that ball, regardless of what happens.

Nietzsche was so intelligent and advanced. And that's how I am. I'm the black, basketball-playing Nietzsche.