There is nothing Modern about doing dumb things for dumb reasons.

The downward spiral of Dumbness in America is about to hit a new low.

Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

I learned a long time ago that reality was much weirder than anyone's imagination.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that claim a God and the only thing that behaves like it hasn't got one.

Sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whisky and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested.

America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.

So we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?

Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing.

Hope rises and dreams flicker and die. Love plans for tomorrow and loneliness thinks of yesterday. Life is beautiful and living is pain.

That level of responsibility drastically conflicts with my belief in self-preservation by inactivity.

The rules of Panic are simple. Anyone can enter. But only one person will win.

iTunes kind of feels like Sam Goody to me. I don't feel cool when I go there. I'm tired of seeing John Mayer's face pop up.

A child is your legacy. What better thing can you do in life than put a really good person in the world who's going to make it a better place?

The power to command has never meant the power to remain mysterious.

I'm going on an adventure!

Do not be deceived by the outward appearance of age or youth - a new pitcher may be full of good, old wine, while an old one may be totally empty.

I knew in my gut that there was something wrong with a system that couldn't fire its incompetents, and I had my share of incompetent college teachers.

I try not to be protected. Because I feel like you can become a little bit of a robot. That's not who I am. And I don't want to be monotone. It's important to be yourself, whatever the cost.

I saw more stupid people in graduate school and three decades in academia than I ever did who ran 100 acres without going broke.