There is nothing like instances to grow hair on a bald-headed argument.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

The day she was born, her grandfather made her a ring of silver and a polished stone, because he loved her already.

A wise man once said NOTHING... He just let her vent, nodded his head and live happily ever after!

I’ve always felt sorry for Mike Collins, driving all the way to the moon but not allowed out of the car to look around.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

By the time I was in the fourth grade, I sounded exactly like my father on the phone.

It’s never a good thing when the black volhv says “Uh-oh” and then runs for his life.

Yes, there are directors I admire, the mavericks. Altman. There are many good directors.

A nice state of affairs when a man has to indulge his vices by proxy.

I can do anything I want, basically, as long as it doesn't involve athletic ability, or something like that.