There is nothing more dignified than a corpse.

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

If you can't you must, and if you must you can.

On the highest throne in the world, we still sit only on our own bottom.

I know Obama, I like Obama, I voted for Obama.

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.

Seek to share joy with others, or to make somebody else happy, and you will find your own soul radiant with the joy you wished for another.

These are the signs of a wise man: to reprove nobody, to praise nobody, to blame nobody, nor even to speak of himself or his own merits.

being homosexual doesn't determine a man's whole character any more than being heterosexual does.

Carelessness is inexcusable, and merits the inevitable sequence.

Truly, life is the misery we endure between disappointments.

The villagers seldom leave the village; many scientists have limited and poorly cultivated minds apart from their specialty.