There is nothing more distressing or tiresome than a writer standing in front of an audience and reading his work.

What’s any artist, but the dregs of his work?

Stupidity is the deliberate cultivation of ignorance.

What's any artist, but the dregs of his work? the human shambles that follows it around. What's left of the man when the work's done but a shambles of apology.

Justice? You get justice in the next world, in this world you have the law.

If you want to make a million you don't have to understand money, what you have to understand is people's fears about money

Power doesn't corrupt people; people corrupt power.

How some of the writers I come across get through their books without dying of boredom is beyond me.

...mementos of this world, in which the things worth being were so easily exchanged for the things worth having.

It is the bliss of childhood that we are being warped most when we know it the least.

We're comic. We're all comics. We live in a comic time. And the worse it gets the more comic we are.

Are you ever going to kiss me without swearing first?

I will no longer wound myself with the thoughts and questions that have surrounded me like thorns: that is a penance You do not ask of me.

We know what we should do. Age is no excuse. Do we go to others for permission or for discipline?

If you do not read and listen to the opposite ideas, you can always remain a stupid person! Opposite ideas, however contrary they may sound, are your greater chances on the way to truth!

If we'd put them in a vase in the living room, they would have been everyone's flowers. I wanted them to be mt flowers.

The great hope of society is in individual character.

Radio was supposed to die in 1945, when TV came along. It turns out that radio grew and grew, and it's a bigger business today than it has ever been.

Who is not attracted by bright and pleasant children, to prattle, to creep, and to play with them?

Going into business for yourself, becoming an entrepreneur, is the modern-day equivalent of pioneering on the old frontier.

If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least a favourable reference to the devil in the House of Commons.