There is nothing that an intellectual less likes to change than his mind, or a politician his policy.

When every benefit received is a right, there is no place for good manners, let alone for gratitude.

A curious reversal in the locus of moral concern has taken place: people feel responsible for everything except for what they do.

Where a reputation for intolerance is more feared than a reputation for vice itself, all manner of evil may be expected to flourish.

Feeling good about yourself is not the same thing as doing good. Good policy is more important than good feelings.

If the history of the 20th Century proved anything, it proved that however bad things were, human ingenuity could usually find a way to make them worse.

Equality of Ugliness: If we can't all live in a beautiful place we must all live in an ugly place.

Do I grow cleverer with age, or does the world grow more stupid?

To regret religion is to regret Western civilization.

The aim of untold millions is to be free to do exactly as they choose and for someone else to pay when things go wrong.

It is only by having desire thwarted, and thereby learning to control it — in other words, by becoming civilized — that men become fully human.

Pain is a part of life. I hated that fact. I would be much happier without it but then it wouldn't be my life.

My general attitude to life is to enjoy every minute of every day. I never do anything with a feeling of, 'Oh God, I've got to do this today.'

I know the price of lettuce. You need to understand price and value. You buy the best lettuce you can at the best price you can.

The itch is a mean, unconfessable, ridiculous malady; one can pity someone who is suffering ; someone who wants to scratch himself makes one laugh.

Except for our higher order of minds we are like the little moles under the earth carrying out blindly the work of digging, thinking our own dark passage-ways constitute all there is to the world.

I believe that people start to get into trouble when they start to believe their own hype.

I'm no hillbilly singer.

We never believe we're beautiful, no matter how many times we hear it. We never believe it until someone says it in the right way.

I ended up an actor, did my first professional union gig in 1974, and I've been doing it ever since.

If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.