There is nothing we can't do. So it's just the fact that we're doing topics like that that other people, especially network TV, won't touch, that we're satirists.

My favorite musical? I don't. It changes all the time. I'm just a diehard, I'm totally old school, like I'll sit and watch, if they are re-doing Oklahoma in New York, I will be the first one there.

Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in womb?

Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it.

I can feel myself dying inside.

In terms of the creative side of it, it's really been a thing where you come up with the funny stuff is usually at a bar or out talking to people or whatever.

Love isn't a decision. It's a feeling. If we could decide who we loved,it would be much simpler, but much less magical

I think people that have a brother or sister don't realize how lucky they are. Sure, they fight a lot, but to know that there's always somebody there, somebody that's family.

Hollywood views regular people as children, and they think they're the smart ones who need to tell the idiots out there how to be.

I would never kill somebody, unless they pissed me off.

What we're always looking for is weird social issues and weird connections to make. Luckily for them, there's no shortage of material.

Let the heart be thy heavens.

Her attachment to language was earthy, physical, and immediate. Pretty words you could eat.

I've heard that sarcasm is no substitute for cleverness

If the enemy of my enemy is my friend, then a friend of my enemy, is my enemy.

Successful politicians are people who know how to make us think well of them without our realizing that that’s what they’re doing

Organizing free and fair elections is more important than the result itself

Yul Brynner's performance in "The King and I," . . . can no longer be regarded as a feat of acting or even endurance. After 30-odd . . . Mr Brynner is, quite simply, The King.

Women should be someone and not something.

I read something about, "Why do actresses get plastic surgery," we like to look at pretty people, but I don't. I like to look at all faces, young, old.

A person is both wise and wealthy when you master the art of appreciating what you already have.