There is only one thing harder in this world than forgiving. It's to ask forgiveness armed only with, 'I'm sorry'.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

I have learned to read the papers calmly and not to hate the fools I read about.

You get all these friends when just when you don't need friends anymore.

Chloe helps to calm me. She makes me feel like nothing in this world exist other than the two of us. I love her more than anything and one day she’ll be all mine.

During self-reflection, the realization came that revolution begins within.

I bite my bottom lip, trying not to cry. I never cry in front of them.

Forgiveness is simply a decision to cancel a debt.

I still love football, though, and I think cooking is like football. It's not a job, it's a passion. When you become good at it, it's a dream job and financially you need never to worry. Ever.

In the '70s, if anything, it was a more interesting time in fashion. It was a time when things were changing, especially in London.

Remember finally, that the ashes that were on your forehead are created from the burnt palms of last Palm Sunday. New beginnings invariably come from old false things that are allowed to die.

I know I am deathless. No doubt I have died myself ten thousand times before. I laugh at what you call dissolution, and I know the amplitude of time.