There is only one way to solve the alleged crisis of the erosion of 'family values.' And that is to get right down to the root cause of the problem.

It's much harder to be a liberal than a conservative. Why? Because it is easier to give someone the finger than a helping hand.

Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you somebody who hasn't the faintest idea what the heck is really going on.

It's been my policy to view the Internet not as an 'information highway,' but as an electronic asylum filled with babbling loonies.

A Pessimist sees the glass as half empty; A Cub Fan wonders when it's gonna spill.

Newspapers, magazines and other publications have the constitutional right to be offensive, even disgusting. As evidence of that, just watch this space regularly.

The subject of criminal rehabilitation was debated recently in City Hall. It's an appropriate place for this kind of discussion because the city has always employed so many ex-cons and future cons.

Contrary to popular belief. It's much wiser to take money from the poor than the rich.

For some people, being free means being free to keep their feet on someone else's chest.

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax.

God tipped the country and all the fruits and nuts rolled west.

Just like small acts of kindness can pave the way for a better world, small acts of corruption open the road for a corrupt world.

I can't not find humor in elements of most parts of life, but at the same time nothing ever seems perpetually funny to me.

It's a great feeling to think that I can be a friend to so many people through my movies.

I'm not a plastic surgeon, and I cannot change the DNA of a person, but when I see a woman try on my clothes and she feels beautiful, I know I am doing my job.

Even on the most serious ballads, I'll throw in a tongue-in-cheek remark.

The customs of the world are so many conventional follies.

It's hard to explain and best thing to do is not be false.

I've come to believe that total nakedness, that is absolute transparency, that is utter and unfettered and profound visibility, is the only way that we can truly love. Anything less, is self-defense.

The ending of partition was inevitable because Ireland was one nation by history and tradition , by facts of race, geography, and economy