There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.

When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves.

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

My only regret in the theater is that I could never sit out front and watch me.

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.

If you go with the flow, life will take you where it pleases, good or bad. If you take charge and fight, you can go anywhere that you please.

I am not me, I am not a human being.I am empty. Infinite emptiness dwells in me.I am the spirit.Emptiness is me.

As a teacher myself I've been in situations where parents come at you, and sometimes parents come across like the teacher doesn't want the best for their kid and it can be really, really hurtful.

War poisons the land Like diseased minds downloaded/ into bowls of tears.

Taking up my cross means a life voluntarily surrendered to God.

If you think all this is going on, all these gigantic fields of gravity and light with you in mind, then you really do have a self-centredness problem.

Have a go-to pump up song. Mine is Shakira's 'Waka Waka' from the 2010 World Cup (don't judge). Play it only when you're ready to turn into your most badass self.

The greatest tragedy for a good quotation is to be anonymous; and for the bad one, is to be known and famous!

She's very pretty but she's honey from the icebox, if you know what I mean. Cold sweets won't spread.

It's amazing how willpower can build walls.