There mark what ills the scholar's life assail, toil, envy, want, and patron.

Cucumber should be well sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

Curiosity is one of the most permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.

Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.

When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.

Classical quotation is the parole of literary men all over the world.

A man who uses a great many words to express his meaning is like a bad marksman who, instead of aiming a single stone at an object, takes up a handful and throws at it in hopes he may hit.

There are minds so impatient of inferiority that their gratitude is a species of revenge, and they return benefits, not because recompense is a pleasure, but because obligation is a pain.

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.

He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts.

Life must have its sacred moments and its holy places. We need the infinite, the limitless, the uttermost -- all that can give the heart a deep and strengthening peace.

If his mother was drowning and I was drowning and he had to choose one of us to save, He says he'd save me.

As I always have with stand-up or anything, you kind of draw on what you're going through in your life.

That kiss was really nice you know before you...bit me, but it was still nice.

Life is a long failure of understanding ... a long, mistaken shutting of the heart.

We doubt that any facts actually exist. We only have observations and interpretations. Most of the interpretations remain questionable.

Self-esteem means knowing you are the dream.

Success is more a matter of choice than of circumstance.

Love is a well from which we can drink only as much as we have put in, and the stars that shine from it are only our eyes looking in.

Second-guess [myself]? Yes, I do. I question everything I do every step of the way. Once I make the decision I'm almost blinded by believing in it, and then I usually hate everything I've done.