"There's a door," he whispered. "Where does it go?" "It stays where it is, I think," said Rincewind.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Within these strangely specific conditions, everything is perfect. We are perfect.

We don't plan funerals till the body is dead.

I am at peace with myself.

People think that I popped out of my mother's womb singing 'Chasing Pavements'.

So by the time the 60s rolled in that became a huge art form in its own right with bands like the Beatles and the Rolling Stones and Hendrix doing total concept albums, same thing with Pink Floyd.

Most country songs, certainly all the stuff I've written, are stories driven by characters.

I think women are taught to ask permission about everything. We don't realize that we are entitled and we do have a say in our lives.

Looking back, my life so far seems like one long obstacle race, with me as its chief obstacle.

North Korea is now threatening the United States with all-out war. You can see they're stepping it up. In fact, they released 10 more photos of Kim Jong Un looking through binoculars.

Just it's as close to magic as you can get in America, education.