There's a fine line between fiction and non-fiction and I think I snorted it somewhere in 1979

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

History is unkind to those it abandons, and can be equally unkind to those who make it.

We must remember balance and moderation. Patience can be spiritually enriching and virtuous… but when taken in excess, it turns to procrastination, the poison of inaction.

It's easy to be disciplined when you have no freedoms.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known.

Violence is stupid. Even as a last resort, it only ever begets more of the same.

All that running and getting nowhere, he thought. Story of my life.

No idea holds greater sway in the minds of educated Americans that the belief that it is possible to democratize governments anytime and anywhere under any circumstances.

Blame where you must, be candid where you can, And be each critic the Good-natured Man.

Our relationship with Nature... best way of forging this relationship... be a pilgrim and not a tourist on Planet Earth

For Christians do not place their hope in their children, but rather their children are a sign of their hope . . . that God has not abandoned this world.