There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Truth is on the side of compassion.

Germany will never break the peace of its own accord.

When people refuse to speak out for too long, it's like water that's stagnant and starts to rot!

Pain is easy to write. In pain we're all happily individual. But what can one write about happiness?

One of the things that make community colleges so special is they do not pick and choose their students - they work with all students.

Of course they needed to care. It was the meaning of everything.

If you are killing time, it's not murder. It's suicide.

I am convinced that America's great sea of goodwill can be, in fact, a rising tide, a tide that could lift every veteran and every family of our wounded and fallen.

I am always the Baywatch girl at heart. The rock 'n' roll got harder and softer but I wouldn't give up those times for anything.

I've gone from a two-pitch guy to a four-pitch guy.