There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.

Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.

Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.

Don’t harden your heart. Return to the Lord. He will revive and restore you.

Faith actually means surrender and commitment to the claims of Christ. It means an acknowledgment of sin and a turning to Christ.

I say 20 words in English. I say money, money, money, and I say hot dog! I say yes, no and I say money, money, money and I say turkey sandwich and I say grape juice.

The inner cities, education is almost worthless, it's horrible. We're going to have Common Core ended.

But keep on working and hoping still. For in spite of the grumblers who stand about, somehow, it seems, all things work out.

Catholics and evangelicals need to remain allied, and in solidarity, against the increasingly aggressive secularism of our age.

No good model ever accounted for all the facts, since some data was bound to be misleading if not plain wrong.

Do not make judgments, and you will travel no quicker road to the forgiveness of your sins. 'Judge not, so that you may not be judged' (Lk. 6:37).

How and when to try new things and to what degree are critical... Too soon and too radical a change and you may not master anything or develop a style.

We didn't push the Russians to intervene, but we knowingly increased the probability that they would.