There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Zoology, eh? That's a big word, isn't it." "No, actually it isn't," said Tiffany. "Patronizing is a big word. Zoology is really quite short.

First rule of spirituality - thou shall not believe in your own bullshit.

Long after people forget what you said or did, they’ll remember how you made them feel.

If you look at life one way there is always cause for alarm.

My father is a huge horse racing fan, so I was introduced to the sport long before 'Seabiscuit.' But the role made me an even bigger fan. Horse racing is one of my favorite sports.

It is very clear that voice communications is moving on to the Internet. In the end, the price that anyone can provide for voice transmission on the Net will trend toward zero.

Since I came here I have learned that Chester A. Arthur is one man and the President of the United States is another.

That was the problem with loving people: it made you weak. It made you need them. It made the thought of not having them the worst thing in the world.

Don't depend on something that comes from outside. Outside things are never going to make you happy.

To oppose something is to maintain it... You must go somewhere else; you must have another goal; then you walk a different road.

My wife bought an extra life insurance policy on me.