There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.

The language of marriage is often a language of ownership, not a language of partnership.

Life wants you to be able to fully receive and give affection and love.

In theory we are all equal before the law. In practice, there are overwhelming privileges that come with winning the birth lottery.

Take Courage! Whatever you decide to do, it will probably be the wrong thing.

We have come from a time of the large-scale, planned, Al Qaeda-style attacks, to the encouragement of lone wolves: Fort Hood, Chattanooga. To the encouragement of people to act on their own.

He called out to his fellow monks,'Come quickly I am tasting stars.

How strange a thing this is! The Priest telleth me that the Soul is worth all the gold in the world, and the merchants say that it is not worth a clipped piece of silver.

Never be impressed with charisma. Look for character.

Too much virtue has a corrupting effect.

It is better to be making the news than taking it, to be an actor rather than a critic.