There's estrogen running through my veins!

I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.

I'm a late-night guy.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever.

Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days.

Some of life's greatest wisdom comes from observing the lives of very lost people.

Married people should not be quick to hear what is said by either when in ill humor.

Once you get to a certain level, anybody can beat anybody else on any given day.

I don't chart out the life histories of the people I play. If I did, I'd be in trouble. I work with my heart and my head, and naturally emotions follow.

I plan on going so deep into the desert, that any failure of my equipment could cost me my life.

Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove Dance me to the end of love.

...and the night is so deep and dark that I wonder if the sun will ever come up.

If people want me to go round and talk to governments and others then I feel that responsibility which is why I am on the road a good deal of the time and why I'm not slowing down.

dont let anyone tell you what you are ever- that way you never run the danger of becoming anything but what you believe in.