There's no better feeling than making your little girls laugh.

With kangaroos, you say 'Sit!' and they start boxing with you. They're nuts!

I've always been known as the fat kid from Stand By Me.

What if you could find brand new worlds, right here on Earth, where anything is possible? Same planet, different dimension. I've found the gateway.

Buddy of mine once told me that he'd rather fly a jet than kiss his girl. Said it gave him more of a kick.

Dogs are the only mammals that will actually stare and look into a human’s eyes.

I like wearing my wedding ring, it's nice.

I don’t want to react because I don’t want them to know it’s a bad word, but I want to encourage them to talk so I’m like, ‘That’s good!’

I highly suggest marriage to all my friends who are dating.

I get very nervous when I have to take my wedding ring off.

With Jerry Bruckheimer, you know you'll get your money's worth. You're getting huge action sequences, it's going to be funny, and you know it's going to look great.

I wonder when god will get a microchip?

When we take our eyes off Jesus and only focus on ourselves and our circumstances, we can no longer see Him. God says He will keep us in perfect peace if we keep our eyes on Him.

If you believe it, it happens. If you don't, it doesn't. When you believe him, you put your own power in his hands.

…have you always been a jackass or is that something you’ve just recently acquired at the ‘I Want to be a Junior Jackass’ store? -Weasel to Army Lieutenant

End-stage addiction is mostly about waiting for the police, or someone, to come and bury you in your shame.

I'll be your mess, you be mine That was the deal that we had signed

If you have God's presence, you have favor. One minute of God's presence can accomplish more than 20 years of your striving.

Recognition of the inevitability of comprehensive bureaucratization does not solve the problems that arise out of it.

Put your money in your head, that way no one can take it from you.

Confidence is a plant of slow growth in an aged bosom.