There's no biography so interesting as the one in which the biographer is present.

We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch.

Create your own visual style... let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others.

Race hate isn't human nature; race hate is the abandonment of human nature.

Popularity should be no scale for the election of politicians. If it would depend on popularity, Donald Duck and The Muppets would take seats in senate.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

The essential is to excite the spectators. If that means playing Hamlet on a flying trapeze or in an aquarium, you do it.

If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends.

If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.

Personally, I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband. If she'll fool her husband, I figure she'll fool me.

It occurs to me that we allow ourselves to imagine only such messages as we need to survive.

I'm genetically programmed to be a terrible person.

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

I'm naturally a mousy blonde, so I dye my hair, and my eyebrows would disappear if I didn't get through at least a pencil a month.

It is our moral obligation to give every child the very best education possible.

If you want to live the Christian life, you will have to realize that Someone Else has to be in control.

It is a good thing to proceed in order and to establish propositions. This is the way to gain ground and to progress with certainty.

Working hard becomes a habit, a serious kind of fun.

With all the imperfections of our present government, it is without comparison the best existing, or that ever did exist.

We must be free inside to make a difference outside.